About 15 years ago, as a new dad, I was searching for a way to keep fit and motivation. I’d spent many years running or working out in health clubs, but my needs had changed. There was simply no way I could be away at work all day, and then be away even longer in order to go to the gym. What I needed now was an invigorating form of exercise that I could do at home. I’m a fast study, so I knew that if I took a few classes in something, I’d quickly know enough to start a home routine.
I learned that there was a Tai Chi class that just started up in my neighborhood, and flashing back to an old Patric Swayze movie where he was was all pumped up and sweaty doing some sort of slow-moving martial art on the bank of a river, I decided to give it a try. I liked it right away, except for two things. First, it wasn’t, in fact, vigorous. Even a little. Apparently, Hollywood did not represent the art in the manner it is actually done (no surprise there). Second, (and here’s the big part) even after a few months of classes, I didn’t seem to be actually practicing it at home.
So, you’ll never guess what happened next… Absolutely nothing. Yep. For a few years, when the kids were young, what passed for an exercise program was a short run now and then while pushing the stroller, or short hikes on the lower trails at Mt. Pisgah with an infant in a front carrier, and a toddler by my side.
I think my oldest was 5 when I finally took my first yoga class. And I was hooked immediately. It had everything I was looking for and more. After my third class, I bought a book that was designed to help yogis organize a home practice, but after 2 months I set it aside in favor of designing my own practices, while continuing to take a class once a week.
It was perfect. (or so I thought)
My work schedule and the kids schedule made it possible for me to roll out my mat in the living room and have a 30-45 minute practice every other day first thing in the morning. Even though I had to wake up a bit earlier, there was no question in my head about whether I would do it, I just woke up and did it. And loved it. I had learned years before from running that even though I was reluctant to begin every run I ever did, I always felt better during the run, and after. Somewhere along the way I learned the phrase, “Motivation follows action.” That made sense to me. Since then, I’ve always said to patients, “Don’t wait till you feel like exercising. Exercise, and soon you’ll feel like it.”
So, what ruined this blissful situation?
Well, six months went by, and I was getting stronger, and more flexible, I was feeling more alert during the day, and I felt great! My goal was achieved. Morning yoga practice every other day was serving my mind, body and soul.
And then I began to notice something. It was just a niggling feeling at first. Then, I realized sadly that I couldn’t keep ignoring it. It became incredibly obvious to me that I only felt wonderful on the days I did yoga in the morning. On the days I slept in, I felt sluggish, uninspired, and even a little sore. “Oh no,” I thought to myself. “I’m going to have to exercise every day! %@#%!” I was so disappointed. I didn’t want to have to exercise everyday. I work hard. I take care of my kids. I have no social life except for my yoga class each week. I WANT TO SLEEP IN!
My little fit lasted about two weeks. I wanted to be in charge, not my body. Then I did it. I woke up earlier on one of my sleep-in days and did my practice. And my body sweetly said, “Thanks, Keith. That’s just what I needed.”
There was no choice in the matter after that. I had a daily practice. That’s what my body wanted, so that’s what I did. And this is why I now tell my patient’s something else. “We don’t make habits. Habits make us.”
So, anyone reading this, take a moment to check in with your body, or with your mind, or heart. What habits are in need of cultivation? Here’s a hint, they are the things you’ve been trying to ignore, but they keep coming up. Allow those needs to be met. Fuss and complain for a bit. But then give in. And get ready for bliss.
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